I remember it as if it were yesterday. I wanted it so badly. I had been hoping for a shark encounter, which in Hawaii is not at all impossible, but so far the sharks had avoided me.
That day, I went scuba diving with a friend and my son. I was in charge of navigating the dive. I didn’t realise how fast I was going; I had just got my new freediving fins and wasn’t used to them yet. Suddenly, I was alone; the boys were checking out an octopus somewhere out of sight. Suddenly, I got a creepy feeling in my neck and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I slowly turned my head to the left, and there she was: A massive 12-foot-long tiger shark, about seven feet away from me. Time stood still. It’s difficult to put into words. At that very moment, all my survival instincts kicked in and I experienced an intense adrenaline rush. At the same time, I was overwhelmed with excitement and thrilled to have this experience. We looked each other in the eye and she slowly started swimming around me in a semi-circle, maintaining the same distance and keeping eye contact the whole time. Those few seconds were incredibly intense. Then she took off and disappeared into the deep blue.
I was so excited that I wanted to share my discovery with my dive buddies, but by the time I had managed to signal to them that there was a shark, she had gone. That moment was only for me. It was a deep dive into unfamiliar areas of my subconscious. Wow, what an experience! I was on a high the whole rest of the day.
I had many more encounters with tiger sharks and other species after that, and I enjoyed them all. There was only one that really scared me, though. This time, I was swimming across Kealakekua Bay to the Captain Cook monument by myself. It was my favourite morning meditation. For me, there’s no better way to instantly find peace and expand my consciousness. I let go of everything and become one with the water.
The dancing sunrays on the water have a very calming and soothing effect on me; I feel weightless. However, my inner peace disappeared in an instant when I saw a school of fish swimming around frantically and scattered everywhere. They usually swim slowly in nice formations. I instinctively knew that something big must be chasing them. I was still far out at sea and had about half a mile to swim back to shore. On the surface, I was vulnerable. Being underwater while scuba diving is another story. Besides, sharks don’t like bubbles. On the surface, however, I could easily be mistaken for a monk seal or some other type of prey. I told my heart to keep beating and focused on deep breathing while waiting motionlessly for a big shadow to appear. Sure enough, there he was: a large Galapagos shark chasing the fish.
This was another bad sign for me – you don’t want to be near a hunting shark. They normally hunt at night. I tried to calm myself down; maybe he was just playing or on a police mission. Did you know that sharks are the police of the ocean? They also play an important role in maintaining a balanced ecosystem. He swam right by me, about six feet below. At that moment, I was fine and actually enjoying the encounter. I’m always fascinated by these creatures. However, once he had disappeared from view and I still had a long way to swim to reach the shore, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was being followed. I kept looking back and all around me, staying on high alert. I knew that if the shark chose to attack me, I wouldn’t stand a chance anyway. So I tried to calm down while swimming back as quickly as possible. I knew he wasn’t going to eat me. Most shark attacks are misunderstandings. But even if he just took a bite out of my arm and spat it out again because we humans taste disgusting, I still wouldn’t have made it to shore alive. So I acknowledged the only truth in this situation for me:
This was not in my hands, I was not in control and there was nothing I could do, to change that. I told life, that I had just started really enjoying this life and that I wasn’t ready to go. Apparently life agreed: I made it to shore safe and sound and didn’t see the shark again.
This was beyond my control. There was nothing I could do to change it. I told life that I had just started to really enjoy it and that I wasn’t ready to go. Apparently, life agreed, because I made it to shore safely and didn’t see the shark again.
